toads_dimensional_rift | Gratitude to Gojira-sama (Reply)

I offer this post in gratitude to Toho Studios & Legendary Pictures* for every single Godzilla film they have ever made or will ever make. What I say in the following paragraphs may well irritate both Godzilla fans and Shinto practitioners. However, this is truly how I experience this character. I cannot change that, no matter how hard I try.

I have tried to be universally acceptable. For decades. It doesn't work and editing oneself to please others isn't what Gojira teaches us, anyway. So, I stopped trying. And because I stopped trying to be the non-person who is always acceptable to others, I have become a lot more healthy in all ways. And much more able to support others when they find they are struggling. I cannot apologize for learning to be authentic from Gojira-sama. (Yes, I know it means Lord Godzilla. And yes, I feel he has a much higher rank than I do simply because he is, as a character or being - whichever, fully himself without apology.)

Whenever I watch one of these stories, my heart is reminded precisely what AWE is. Not because these stories are always overly deep or the characters are always well-developed. But because Gojira-sama is, to me, clearly a deity level figure. Several of the movies allude to this fact. Legendary's 2014 rendition makes it clear as crystal - "Godzilla - a god for all intents and purposes," so. He is the wrath of Earth when the petty creatures we are destroy the balance of nature as thoughtlessly as we tend to - and for the stupidest of reasons, usually.

We act out of fear, greed, insecurity, paranoia. Gojira-sama, I have noticed in all the films, seems to be motivated by instinct, as such, he is always true to himself. We playact and lie in ways big and small every day to get our way or even merely to just make life less difficult. And most humans are offended when one does NOT do this. You know what I'm talking about.

EXAMPLE:
FRIEND: "Are you going to go to the club tonight with Jodie and the gang?"
YOU: "Oh no. I really wanted to, though." (Your tone indicates something is off)
FRIEND: "What's wrong? I thought you two were close."
YOU: "Oh it's nothing. I just scheduled my hair appointment for tonight."

We all know that if you said to your friend "Well, Jodie** has been consistently trying to convince to violate my ethics AND has been noticeably hitting on my boyfriend IN MY PRESENCE, so I'd really rather not spend time with her just now," a few things might happen. The Friend might go tell Jodie, when you may or may not be ready to discuss those things with her yet. The Friend might immediately defend Jodie and treat you like a traitor for having very valid concerns you had the AUDACITY to express honestly. Or (very uncommon) the Friend might say, "Those feelings sound difficult to navigate. Do you need some company? If not, I'll go on with the group because my favorite band is playing and I do not have those experiences with Jodie." The first two possibilities are not helpful. And are the most common human reactions to direct truth telling.

Godzilla doesn't ever do this. He is unstoppable in his truth. And he reminds us to be the same. We sacrifice even our own health to achieve imbalances so long as we believe they are in our favor. He generally expresses profound irritation with this, often resulting in a good City Stomp. I can't blame him.

How often have I wished to be that big and able to stomp my troubles at will! I know many who feel the same. I use a little Troubles Stomping Ritual when things get overwhelmingly out of hand emotionally for me. I lay out papers with words describing my troubles and pretend I am Godzilla. Quite a therapeutic practice. Especially when paired with a nice loud screaming session. Playing Godzilla reduces stress. Even for so-called "Grown Ups." (I'll tell you a secret - there's no such thing!)

Anyway. To Toho Pictures: Thank you from the core of my being. The stories your creative teams have made over the many decades have taught me many things.